7 Tips to Keep a Long Distance Relationship Healthy

August 21st, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Prevent Break Up

Most people want a relationship with someone who is always physically present and can be reached anytime but not everyone is lucky to have that kind of relationship. There are many circumstances in life that couples end up having a long distance relationship. Whatever the circumstances are, it is important for couples to know how to keep a long distance relationship healthy to make the relationship work.

Although many people believe that long distance relationship won’t work, there are couples who were able to overcome the challenges and be able to keep a long distance relationship healthy. Here are some tips:

Regular communication. With advance technology now, there is no reason for couples not to communicate. Regular communication can help couples keep a long distance relationship healthy. Sending a message or calling is easy and there are also apps like Skype or Facetime that couples can use to talk and see each other at the same time. Just do not overdo it. Regular communication doesn’t mean excessive communication. You don’t have to talk every minute of the day. Greeting your partner every morning and before going to bed is a must but do not expect your partner to send messages or call every hour. Being too demanding or possessive could drive your partner to get tired of you. Stay connected with each other by communicating constantly but do not overdo it.

Be honest and open with each other. You cannot see each other every day so it is up to both of you to be honest and open about the things that keeps you both busy. Share what makes you happy, what makes you disappointed and the challenges you’ve been experiencing. Being open and honest with each other can help you keep a long distance relationship healthy.

Give each other assurance. Being away from each other is hard and there is no way to know if you still love each other unless you both assure each other that your feelings for each other keeps growing and getting intense despite the distance. Make him or her feel loved. Be thoughtful and do not forget to greet or send a present on special occasions. An assurance on both sides that everything is still going well can help keep a long distance relationship healthy.

Trust each other. An important ingredient to a successful relationship is trust. It would be hard to keep a long distance relationship healthy without trust. You’ll get paranoid and suspicious every time you see couples breaking up or some people cheating their partners. Being apart can teach you more about relationships. Instead of thinking that being apart can complicate your relationship, have a mind-set that being apart is a test of how much you love and trust each other. Instead of making the long distance an excuse to pull you apart, make it a reason to bond more to make the relationship stronger.

Avoid temptations. People who are away from their partners are prone to temptations especially when they are sad or vulnerable. Avoid situations where you’ll be tempted to do something that you are not supposed to do. Avoid situations that could endanger your relationship or that could make your partner worried or suspicious of you. Going out or hanging out with an ex or someone who is attracted to you or flirting with you is not a good idea. Putting yourself on dangerous situations could ruin your relationship. Avoiding temptations is important if you want to keep a long distance relationship healthy.

Create a common interest or hobbies. Being apart doesn’t mean you cannot do things together. The distance can be shortened by creating at least one common interest or hobby that will serve as your bonding activities. If you both love photography, you can discuss or share photos online that you shot separately. You can both listen to the same music, watch the same movies or read the same books and talk about it. You can also play online games together.  Doing things together can help keep a long distance relationship healthy.

Have future plans together. If you are into a long distance relationship and trying your best to make it work, it is safe to assume that you want this relationship for keeps. It is important to make plans together and have the same future goals. How long do you both intend to live separately? Do you plan to settle down and live together in the same place? It is important that you have the same goals when it comes to your relationship. Knowing that being apart for now is just temporary and you are both working on the same goal of being together in the future can make couples look forward for a brighter future with each other.

 

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Dealing with Common Marital Issues

July 31st, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Save Your Marriage

It is normal for couples to run into few bumps in their relationship. If you know how to deal with common marital issues, you’ll have a better chance of keeping a long-lasting marriage. There is no perfect marriage. Even the best of marriages encounter problems in their relationship. Knowing how to work through the common marital issues in your relationship to keep the relationship going is very important in every marriage.

So what are the common marital issues that couples have to deal with?

Poor communication. The lack of communication is one of the common marital issues couples usually experience. In this modern age, many things prevent couples from having actual communication. You cannot have a good communication with your spouse while watching TV or engrossed on your gadgets. Put down your cell phone at home and let the voicemail pick up your calls. Let your spouse speak and voice out his or her concerns. When voicing out your concerns, avoid starting the phrase with “You” because it sounds blaming your spouse. Instead start the conversation with “I” words.  Be respectful of your spouse even in the face of arguments. Know when to stop talking and start listening. Talk to your spouse on a regular basis to strengthen your connection with each other. It could be over coffee every morning or after putting the kids to bed at night. Have a regular date nights to spend more time talking and communicating with each other.

Sexual dissatisfaction. The lack of sex or sexual dissatisfaction is one of the common marital issues that couples have to deal with. Even couples who love each other so much can have sex issues. The lack of sexual awareness could aggravate the problem. Couples should not give up on sex because this is one of the great ways to connect with each other emotionally and physically. Discuss how to improve your sex life. Make plans and include sex in your calendar. Discover each other’s sexual fantasies or what turns you and your partner on and work on how to satisfy each other.  If you can’t resolve your sexual problems on your own, seek help from sexual therapist to resolve your issues regarding sex.

Money problems. Another common marital issue is money matters.  Financial problems could ruin a marriage and couples should know how to handle money problems to save their relationship. It is important to be honest with each other about your financial situation so that you both know what you are dealing with. Do not hide and always be transparent about your debts, income, savings and investments. If one is a spender and another is a saver, acknowledge each other’s money habits, set some rules and learn from each other. Talk and decide who is responsible for your daily budget and monthly bills. Set aside a budget for each other’s personal needs. Talk about how to save for long-term and how to deal financially with family emergencies including your parents. Above all, when the family is facing a financial crisis, do not blame each other but work as a team and support each other to survive the crisis without jeopardizing your marriage.

Issues about housework. One of the common marital issues that couples have to deal with is how to keep the house in order. When both spouses are working, household chores can be an issue. It may sound childish but heated arguments may start from a misplaced toothpaste cap or dirty dishes. It is important for couples to fairly divide household chores and agree about your respective household responsibilities. It is also important to be considerate and flexible once in a while as there might be occasions when one spouse must spend more time at work due to some issues at work.

Lack of time for each other. When you were single, your career and yourself were on top of your priorities but once you get married, your priorities should change. Couples should make their marriage their priority. Although you both have careers to keep or pursue, your marriage should not be the last on your list. Not making your marriage a priority could lead to marital problems. Lack of time for each other is one of the common marital issues that can ruin a marriage. Dating should not stop after your “I do.” Make time for regular date nights. Include in your schedule time for each other. Let your spouse feel and know that he or she is important.

Handling arguments and conflicts. It is normal for couples to argue and not see each other eye-to-eye but couples should learn to handle conflicts in a healthy way. Always remember that you are arguing with someone you love and not your enemy. You can voice out your concerns without being spiteful or without hurting your spouse. Listen and let your spouse speak and express his or her concerns. Acknowledge your mistakes and apologize. Avoid shouting, name calling, bad words and cursing. Respect each other and find solutions to your conflicts. Find a middle ground and compromise to resolve certain issues. Keeping a marriage includes compromise and sacrifices.

Too much jealousy. Is jealousy causing issues and tension in your marriage? Too much jealousy is one of the common marital issues that can damage a marriage. Trust is important in a long-term relationship like marriage. If too much jealousy is hurting your marriage, you have to learn to control your jealousy and trust your spouse more. Are there unresolved issues preventing you to trust your spouse? Work on those issues with your spouse to build trust with each other. If your spouse is a jealous type, do not give him or her reasons to get jealous. Be consistent and never make promises you cannot keep. Call when you say you will call and inform your spouse when you will be home late.

Couples who value their marriage can make adjustments and can learn to minimize the common issues in their marriage.

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Rebuilding Trust After an Affair- What Couples Should Know

June 22nd, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Save Your Marriage

It is not uncommon for couples to battle the pain and realities of infidelity. Many couples went through the stage where a spouse go astray and engage in an affair with another person and then realized in the end that their marriage is more important than any affair. Although the adulterous spouse came into his or her senses and the cheated spouse decided to give another chance, still the damage had been done and the result… broken trust. Can this broken trust be restored? Rebuilding trust after an affair is not easy but it is not impossible. Many couples decided to fix the damage of an affair than take the path of divorce.

The journey of healing and rebuilding trust can be long and painful. While there is no one size fits all solution in restoring a broken trust, these tips can be very helpful in rebuilding trust after an affair.

Willingness from both parties to cooperate and restore the broken trust. Rebuilding trust after an affair requires teamwork from both spouses. While the adulterous spouse should be more accountable, the cheated spouse should be willing to share the responsibility to make the relationship work again. Re-establishing one’s integrity after cheating is not easy if the other party is not cooperating. The guilt and repentance of the adulterous spouse is not enough to rebuild a broken trust if the cheated spouse is not willing to forgive and help the relationship move on to the next level. Both spouses should work as a team in rebuilding broken trust after an affair.

Do not get tired of answering questions. The cheated spouse will surely ask unending questions about the details of the affair and when you think the questioning finally ends, he or she may start asking questions again. You might have to answer the same questions over and over again but never get tired of your spouse’s questions and be willing to answer them with patience and kindness. This questioning may go on for weeks, months or even years. After quite some time, the questioning may decrease but it will still come up once in a while. Understand that those questions were not asked to make you feel bad but those were healthy questions to create better understanding and better communication to both of you. A better and stronger marriage has no secrets. You were united as one under the matrimony of marriage so no more secrets, no more it’s “hers” or it’s “his” but now it’s “ours.”

Mutual respect. In rebuilding trust after an affair, it is important to respect one another. For the betrayed spouse, show respect to your spouse even if your spouse even if you’ve been betrayed. If you cannot show respect at this point, restoring the broken trust would be impossible. Admitting one’s mistake and trying to revive one’s integrity after an affair are not easy but your spouse is willing to do those things, he or she deserves some respect. Not everyone can do that. For the adulterous spouse, respect the emotions of your hurt spouse. The pain of being betrayed is not easy to deal with and you have to respect what he or she is going through.

Be transparent. As the one who broke your spouse’s trust, be transparent and do not hide anything.  Instead of making your spouse suspicious again, feed all the information to your spouse. Be an open book and let your spouse know everything to help you restore the trust in your marriage. Let your spouse know if your ex other woman called or contacted you. Give your spouse access to your emails, phone and social media account to prove that you are keeping your promises and you have nothing to hide. Of course, you also have to remind your spouse that your being transparent is not something that he or she can use to manipulate or control you. Both spouses should be mature enough to recognize that this transparency about everything is important in rebuilding trust after an affair but not to manipulate each other.

Stay committed. The process of healing and rebuilding trust after an affair doesn’t happen overnight and even the most committed couples may waver when faced with difficulties. Sometimes, it can be frustrating to find yourselves making one step forward and two steps backwards but stay committed to your goal of rebuilding trust in your relationship. Continue working as a team, forgive more and love more.

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6 Traits Men Are Attracted To

May 25th, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

There are certain traits that attract men. Every man has their own preference but there are general traits that make a woman attractive to most men. Here are some of the traits men are attracted to:

A woman’s smile. A smile is a universal language for being friendly and most men are attracted to women with beautiful smile. We often hear people saying “smile and the whole world will smile at you” and it is true. It is an infectious gesture and one of the traits men are attracted to.

A woman’s feminine nature. Not all women are feminine, that is why men love to see the feminine side of women because it is one of the traits men are attracted to. Aside from the long hair, smooth skin, long legs, slim body, soft voice and attractive eyes which are all physical traits, the compassionate kindhearted soul, caring and nurturing nature of women are all feminine nature that are attractive to most men. Being feminine doesn’t mean being overly shy. A feminine woman is sociable but with good manners and not loud.  She carries herself well and exudes a feminine aura.

A woman who is down to earth. Most men stay away from arrogant and demanding women. Yes it is true that most women want to be treated like a princess but this doesn’t mean that you have to act like one. A woman with a princess syndrome is not the kind of woman who attract men because being down-to-earth is one of the traits men are attracted to.

A woman with a strong personality. Having a strong personality is not being conceited but it means being mentally strong. A woman who knows how to survive despite the harsh reality of life. She’s confident about herself and knows her worth. She’s a women with a positive outlook in life and not easily swayed by negative things.

An independent woman. Although it is true that no man is an island, men are attracted to women who are not completely dependent to others. Most men stay away from needy women. Men admire women who can live on their own and can make their own decisions especially major decisions in life.

An intelligent woman. Men want to be challenged and although most men are attracted to beautiful women, intelligence is one of the traits men are attracted to. They want women who can converse with them and can challenge their minds. They want women who are good at something and does not depend solely on their physical appearance.

With the increasing number of single women, the competition for eligible men is not easy.  If you have the traits men are attracted to, you are ahead of other women.

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7 Traits that Make a Woman Stand Out?

May 6th, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Attracting Men

With a lot of single women like you out there and most single men are already taken, the competition for single men is high. To succeed in dating, a woman should be capable of getting the attention of those single men. So what makes a woman stand out?

She’s oozing with confidence. Take note, it is confidence and not arrogance because those are two different things. An arrogant person is someone who thinks she’s better than anyone else. A confident woman is someone who knows her worth but still respects others. A confident woman knows her value, knows what she wants and knows how to get it. Confidence is one of the traits that makes a woman stand out.

She has her own style. She’s not a copy cut but she has her own style and personality. Many women are victims of hypes and trying to look like someone who is popular so these women end up like replicas who dress alike and act alike. It is not bad to follow the trend but a woman who stands out knows herself and has her own style, a style that suits her personality. Having a style of her own makes a woman stand out. A woman who exudes her own style stands out in the midst of women who dress and act alike.

She looks at the brighter side. A woman who is not melodramatic and does not take things too seriously is admirable. Life can be full of drama and unexpected circumstances but she knows how to look at the brighter side and do not let stress and problems take the best of her. A woman who has the ability to look at the brighter side despite the harsh realities of life makes her stand out. A positive attitude makes a woman stand out.

She’s fun to be with. Although she doesn’t live an easy-going life, she can be spontaneous and can have an easy-going attitude once in a while. She doesn’t make a big deal out of everything. She knows how to have fun and she’s fun to be with.

She’s good at something. What a ballerina, a woman book author or a writer, a woman who paints and showcase her works in art galleries or exhibits, an excellent cook, a woman who designs clothes, a woman who can play musical instruments and a woman who plays sports have in common? They stand out because they are skilled and good at something. Not all women who are good at something were born gifted but they are women who are passionate about something and coupled their passion with actions. You can do the same if you want to stand out. What is your passion? Are you doing something about it? Being good at something makes a woman stand out.

She can express herself and can make decisions. Many women avoid making decisions and airing their opinions because they are afraid. They leave those things to men which some men find a little burdensome. The ability to make decisions and speak her mind can make a woman stand out.  She doesn’t have to be forceful but when asked, she should be able to express herself and make decisions.

Her independence. She’s not clingy. She’s comfortable on her own and she knows how to handle her life. Although she wants a man in her life, her world doesn’t revolve only around men. She has her own thing going and she’s in control of her own life. She can live on her own and not needy.

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6 Helpful Ways of Controlling Your Jealousy

April 18th, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Save Your Marriage

Is your jealousy causing tension in your marriage? Jealousy if not controlled can rule your marriage and will eventually cause problems in your relationship. If you failed in controlling your jealousy, it will eventually ruin your marriage.

Being suspicious and constantly accusing your spouse of being unfaithful to you without solid evidences can harm your marriage. If your jealousy is hurting your marriage then you have to find ways of controlling your jealousy. So what you have to do to successfully control your jealousy?

Acknowledge that you have a jealousy problem. You have to recognize first that you have a jealousy problem before you could control it. You must admit that your irrational behavior and suspicions of your spouse is causing problems in your marriage and that controlling your jealousy is the solution to save your marriage.

Talk to your spouse. Stalking or violating your spouse’s privacy to verify if your jealousy is true or not is not a good idea. It is best to talk to your spouse. Honestly talk about how you feel and  your suspicions but do it acceptable manners and don’t blame your spouse. It is important to have a heart to heart talk with your spouse acknowledging your jealousy problem and that you don’t like what you feel and you want your spouse’s support to help you in controlling your jealousy problem. Your spouse will most likely understand and will become more patient with you and help you overcome your jealousy problem.

Work on your self-esteem. Jealousy sometimes stem from having low self-esteem and from your insecurities. You have that feeling that you are less important compared to the person who is the source of your jealousy. View yourself in a more positive way. Get rid of your self-pity and the negative perception you have for yourself. Focus on your lovable traits and why your spouse chose to marry you. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are a unique individual who have unique qualities that your spouse decided to be with you. Love yourself more and always believe that although you are not perfect (no one is) you are worth loving.  If you know your worth, controlling your jealousy is not that hard.

Trust your spouse more. You cannot baby sit your marriage and you cannot watch over your spouse 24/7. You have to learn to trust your spouse because trust is a very important ingredient of a successful and happy marriage. Couples do not have to spend every minute of their lives together. Although they have to grow together, they also have to grow individually. Imagine if you are always together every minute, you’ll eventually run out of things to talk about and the excitement in your marriage will eventually fade. You both need to grow individually and spend time with other people too and bring new things in your relationship.

Make yourself busy. It is a common saying that an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. If you have more free time and using it to accommodate your irrational jealousy, then I’ll be hard to control your jealousy. In controlling your jealousy, you have to use your time on other things to take your mind off your jealousy. Keep yourself busy with things you love doing. Are you passionate about something? Do you have talent in cooking, arts or music? Then pursue your passion and use your time wisely. Your spouse will appreciate you more and will find you more interesting.

Get help. Jealousy is a normal feeling and can bring spice in a marriage but if it’s unreasonable to the point that it is causing troubles in your marriage, then it is a problem that should be addressed. If controlling your jealousy on your own is not possible, then you have to seek help. Jealousy can stem from psychological causes and professional help might be needed to control your jealousy. A jealous spouse may have experienced being abandoned or been in a family ruined by infidelity that he or she finds it hard to trust people. If you feel that you cannot handle your jealousy problem on your own, do not hesitate to seek help.

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Dating A Man 10 Years Younger- What You Should Know

April 9th, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Attracting Men

Meeting and attracting a much younger guy (someone a decade or more younger) when you are in your late 40s or early 50s can be flattering. Your friends may find it amazing and may push you to go for it but it can be really disturbing in reality. Dating a man 10 years younger brings a different high and excitement but it comes with some challenges too. May-December romance has its pros and cons.

The Pros

Younger men most likely listen and take your advice. Being older, you are perceived as the more experienced, mature and well-rounded person so your younger man tend to listen more and accept your advice. Younger men find it easier to talk to older women about anything. They believe that older women are more adept and can handle multiple responsibilities like career, relationships, children and finances which makes them reliable to listen to.  Younger men are willing to listen and learn. Dating a man 10 years younger can be refreshing because it is nice to have someone who appreciates your value.

Dating a man 10 years younger can make you feel young. Younger men can definitely make older women feel prettier, more attractive and young. Younger men are more energetic, full of life and  adventurous. There are older women who says that they became more energetic and adventurous being with younger guys.

Sexual compatibility. Most young men prefer having sex with older women because they have more experience and sure of what they want. If women and men hit their sexual primes at different age, younger men are more likely sexually compatible with much older women. Middle aged or older women tend to have higher sex drive which corresponds to the stamina and high sex drive of younger men. Sex can be better when dating a man 10 years younger.

You don’t have to worry about his baggage. Younger men usually haven’t had much heartaches so they carry less emotional baggage. You also don’t have to deal with previous marriages or kids because a younger man is more likely very single and never been married.

The Cons

Younger men lacks experience. While you already have a solid career and financially stable, a younger man is still sorting out his life path and doesn’t have much life experience, doesn’t have a stable career and not yet  financially stable. It can be a good thing at first with all the excitement and romance but once reality sets in, you’ll realize as time went on that dating a man 10 years younger can be really challenging. It can be tiring to be the wise grown-up and be his lover, his aunt, his mother, his mentor and his teacher.

Relationship with a younger man may not be for keeps. Younger guys can be immature and not ready for something serious. Commitment can be an issue for younger men as they are not into something serious yet. Younger men may not be ready to settle down because he is still young, immature and want to explore many things first while older women are very much ready to settle down. They may also have immature friends that you have to deal with.

Difference in lifestyle. You were already in college while he was in grade school. You may not understand his lifestyle and he may not understand yours as you both grew up in different decades. The difference can be exciting at first but you may not see each other eye-to-eye eventually as you do not share the same things and experiences growing up.

You’ll be regarded as a cougar and get teased often. No relationship is easy but dating a man 10 years younger is more difficult when you are being teased and called names. While men can enjoy May-December romances, society is not that generous with older women involved with much younger men. Although the perception about older women dating younger men is now slowly changing, there is still a social stigma that society still perceived older women as predator of younger men. They can be really cruel calling you names. People may make fun of you and viewed you as desperate for dating a man 10 years younger. His family can be indifferent to you too and may not accept you gladly.

You cannot defy nature. Changes in physical appearance can be more obvious as years go by. You cannot escape the natural aging process and older women naturally become wrinkled first when your younger man still looks very youthful. You may feel insecure with your aging appearance. But even if you look younger than your age, you cannot defy nature and undo your biological clock. You cannot escape the fact that you are older. If you are an older woman and past the childbearing age and dating a man 10 years younger, getting pregnant or having kids may not be easy or even possible. There is this fertility issue to consider when dating a much younger man because he may want to have his own kids in the future.

Although there are couples who later realized that the huge age gap is taking its toll on their relationship and the challenges are too much to handle affecting their relationship, there are couples who were able to conquer the age gap and make the relationship work despite the huge age gap. In the end, the decision is yours. We are free to follow our hearts and love whoever we want. And as long as we can make the relationship work, age is just a number.

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10 Common Relationship Issues of Married Couples and Ways to Deal with Them

February 2nd, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Save Your Marriage

No marriage is perfect and relationship issues cannot be avoided in a long-term relationship like marriage. There are a number of issues that married couples go through and here are the common relationship issues couples usually deal with.

Differences in values. Although couples are united as one under the matrimony of marriage, the truth cannot be denied that they are two individuals raised differently and have different set of values. The differences in values can lead to arguments and misunderstandings. One way to deal with differences in values is to learn to choose your battles. If you cannot win against your spouse, learn to accept things as they are or agree to disagree. But it is better to find a middle ground and compromise. Marriage is the union of two individuals and you both have to learn to co-exist and love each other despite your differences to create a harmonious family.

Infidelity. One of the common relationship issues that can lead to divorce is infidelity or cheating. An affair can ruin your marriage and can have a long lasting effect on your children. Infidelity is not only about physical or sexual infidelity but it also include emotional infidelity and intimacy with another person over the internet. Whether you do it offline or online, as long as it involves physical or emotional intimacy with another person other than your spouse, it is a form of cheating or infidelity and this is a big issue in a marriage. Although many couples were able to save their marriage after an affair, it is better to avoid it in the first place. Creating a deep and strong connection with your spouse can help you stay focused on your marriage and avoid the temptations of an affair.

Sex problems. Sex is an important part of a romantic relationship like marriage because it is a medium where couples can connect emotionally and physically. One of the common relationship issues is sexual dissatisfaction. If you or your spouse are not sexually satisfied in your marriage, issues may arise. Sexual dissatisfaction can stem from the feeling of rejection, the pain of not being asked or pursued or from frustrations of not getting the sexual pleasure you are expecting from your marriage. Although there are couples who survived a sexless marriage (couples who are having ten or less sexual activities in a year can be considered living in a sexless marriage), most couples still preferred a marriage with a satisfying active sex life. It is important to be honest and open with your spouse about your sexual desires and work together on how to spice up your sex life. Find the underlying reasons for the lack of sexual intimacy in your marriage and work from there to solve the sexual issues in your relationship. Sexual issues may lead to other marital problems like infidelity if you failed to recognize and resolve them.

Pressure at work or careers. If couples are working or pursuing individual careers, issues may occur. One of the common relationship issues that can shake a marriage is the pressure at work. If you are stressed out at work, you can bring it at home and it can affect your behavior towards your spouse. When you are both pursuing different careers and want to be successful, the marriage might suffer. It is a fact that most working married couples spend more time at work than at home. Balancing work and married life is not easy. While stress at work and in your marriage are normal part of life, you have to learn how to handle stress to create a fulfilling and well-balanced married life. It is important for couples to set their priorities and be supportive to each other’s careers. Besides, in the end you will both benefit from having successful careers and married life. People who are happy and successful with their jobs tend to be happier with their personal lives. It is not easy but it possible to have a successful career and married life.

Money issues. Money can affect and ruin your marriage. Issues with money is one of the common relationship issues that can really affect a marriage. Problems may occur if couples have different bahavior and mentality about money. When one is a saver and another is a spender, problems may occur. When there is too much debts and financial issues, the marriage may suffer. It is important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to money matters. It is best to sit down and talk about how to handle money matters (salary, daily budget, expenses for your children, paying debts, paying taxes, savings and other expenses) in your marriage. Open communication and joint financial decision can help couples avoid money issues in their marriage. It is important to understand that in a marriage there is no such thing as “your money”, “my money” or “your debts” and “my debts” but it is now “our money”, “our debts”. Couples should work together as a team to solve the financial issues in their marriage and celebrate together whenever they are financial achievements.

Lack of time. Not giving time for your spouse is one of the common relationship issues that can affect the intimacy level of couples. The marriage could fall apart and couples could grow apart when they failed to spend quality time with each other. Lack of time can make couple’s love for each other fade away. Although it is not easy to divide your time between your work, children and other responsibilities, you still have to make time for your spouse. Couples need to find time alone with each other to strengthen their bond and connection with each other. Time alone with your spouse should be included in your daily schedule if you want to keep a long-lasting marriage. Time alone with your spouse may include an hour of daily chat or talk, regular date nights and vacations.

Boredom. Lack of fun and excitement can make the marriage dull and boring. Boredom can kill a marriage. Marriage is a life-long relationship and couples tend to fall into a routine life that makes the marriage boring eventually. It is important to break the routine and bring more excitement in your marriage to avoid boredom. Keep the romance in your marriage alive, spice up your sex life, be spontaneous, have fun together, discover something new together and be adventurous.

Too much jealousy. A little jealousy can be healthy in a marriage but too much of it can be destructive to your marriage and to you as a person. If too much or irrational jealousy becomes a habit it can ruin your marriage and can affect your ability to create relationships with people around you. It will not only ruin your marriage but it can bring too much stress to you, can make you bitter, unhappy, war freak, nagger, angry and can affect your physical health. If you are the jealous spouse, learn to trust your spouse more and do not give in to your insecurities and self-pity. If you have a jealous spouse, do not give your spouse reasons to get jealous and show that you are committed to your marriage.

Family issues. When you get married, you also married everything about your spouse including your in-laws and the children from your spouse’s previous marriage or relationship. Your spouse’s extended family can cause conflicts and strain on your marriage. Family issues is one of the common relationship issues couples have to deal with. It is important to address these issues together as a couple or as a team. Learn how to communicate, co-exist and create a healthy relationship with your extended family. It is not easy and it needs a lot of work but in the end your marriage will benefit from creating a loving and harmonious relationship with your extended family.

Poor or lack of communication. One of the common relationship issues that can ruin a marriage is poor or lack of communication. When couples started to keep quiet and stopped communicating, the marriage will surely suffer. A healthy communication between couples strengthens the marriage and makes it last longer. Conflicts and misunderstandings in a marriage can stem from lack of communication. It is not good to just assume that you know what your spouse is thinking because it often leads to misunderstandings. Talking with each other regularly or sitting down to talk about the issues in your marriage is healthy to your marriage. Effective communication is not only about talking but it is also about listening. You should know when to stop talking and start listening. Communication is not only verbal but also includes writing, texting or calling each other. Whatever medium you choose, the most important thing is that you and your spouse can understand each other through effective communication.

Creating a long lasting marriage is not an overnight thing. It takes years of work and trials to create a lasting marriage. Problems and conflicts are inevitable but what is important is that couples know how to resolve whatever marital issues they have to save their marriage.

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5 Ways to Cope with a Sexless Marriage

January 16th, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Save Your Marriage

What is a sexless marriage? It is a marriage with little or no sexual activities. Experts describe that couples who are having sex 10 times or less in a year is considered living in a sexless marriage. Although it is best for couples to keep a healthy and active sex life, it is not uncommon for couples to live in a sexless marriage. Can couples cope with a sexless marriage?

There are many reasons why a marriage becomes sexless. It can be caused by medical issues, couples became too busy with their careers and jobs, having children, exhaustion, lack of sex drive or desire, etc. If you decided to stay in a sexless marriage, no matter what the cause of the lack of sex in your marriage, coping with a sexless marriage needs some work.

Choosing to stay in a sexless marriage is a personal choice but it is worth saving your marriage. Can this kind of marriage work? It don’t work in every marriage but to others, yes, a sexless marriage works. There are couples who are in a sexless marriage for years and yet living a happy, meaningful married life because they’ve learned to cope with a sexless marriage.

Here are some helpful ways to cope with a sexless marriage.

Do not blame yourself or your spouse. The lack of sex in your marriage doesn’t mean you are no longer desirable or attractive. There are many reasons behind a sexless marriage and it is an issue that both you and your spouse are involved so it is not entirely your fault. Do not blame your spouse either because blaming is not the solution to this issue but it will just aggravate the situation. You and your partner are in this together so it is best to face this issue together to find the best solution. It is less challenging to cope with a sexless marriage if you will stop blaming each other.

Have an agreement or compromise. It is important for both partners to talk about the lack of sex in their marriage. It is best if you both agree and decided to live a meaningful and happy married life despite the lack of sex in your relationship. It is not easy, as you both may encounter trials and challenges while trying to cope with a sexless marriage but what is important is that you communicate about it and be able to find the middle ground, compromise and come out with an agreement. You both have to work hard together than other couples to be able to cope with a sexless marriage.

Explore other ways to stay emotionally and physically connected. Understand that emotional intimacy in a marriage cannot be attained through sexual intercourse only. Although it may be true that sex is one of the best ways for couples to connect emotionally, the lack of sex doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed. There are other ways for spouses to stay emotionally connected. Lack of sex is not uncommon in a marriage and there are celibate couples who lead a meaningful and happy married life. Stay emotionally and physically connected with each other. Emotional intimacy is not only about sexual intimacy but it is more about matters of the heart. Emotional connection with each other doesn’t always involve your genitals. Explore other ways to stay connected with each other. Emotional connection can be made by making time for each other, communicating regularly, listening to each other, opening up with each other, doing things together, playing together, creating new hobbies or memories together, taking a vacation or couples retreat together. Explore other ways to stay physically intimate with each other. Hugging each other more, kissing regularly or massaging your spouse are some ways to stay physically connected with each other.

Work on the issues behind your sexless marriage. There’s nothing much you can do if the reason behind your sexless marriage is a medical issue but to accept the reality and try your best to cope with a sexless marriage. If the reason for the lack of sex in your marriage is something else, it is best to work on the issues together. If it’s not a medical issue, what’s causing your lack of sex drive? Is the lack of physical intimacy a result of unresolved marital issues? Is your careers or individual issues causing you to drift apart? Sometimes the lack of sex is not the problem but it is the result of other issues in your marriage. While you may both consider that it is okay not to have frequent sex with each other, still it is best to work on the underlying issues to make sure that your marriage is okay and there are no unresolved issues. If you need help to resolve the issues causing your sexless marriage, do not hesitate to seek help. It is best to exhaust all possible solutions to save your marriage.

Focus on the wonderful things your marriage have and not what’s lacking in your marriage. It can be more challenging and frustrating to cope with a sexless marriage if you will keep thinking about what is lacking in your marriage so stop being negative and start focusing on the positive side of your marriage. Sex maybe one important part of a marriage but there are other things in your marriage that you should be grateful and those things may serve as reasons why you should continue loving and respecting your spouse. Is the lack of sex in your marriage enough reason to leave your marriage? I hope not, because true love must be beyond sex.

Dealing with issues in your marriage is not easy but it is always worth saving your marriage.

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Wives, is your husband thinking of leaving you? CLICK HERE >>> Your Marriage System Savior

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9 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

January 4th, 2016 by | No Comments | Filed in Save Your Marriage

Is your relationship going downhill? Maintaining a relationship is not easy and most couples encounter a few bumps along the road to a lasting relationship. If not recognized earlier, these bumps could push couples to take the relationship to the wrong direction leading to break-ups or divorce. It is important to recognize these relationship killers ahead of time to avoid further damage. There are reasons why relationships fail and once these reasons are recognized ahead of time, you’ll have a better chance of saving your troubled relationship. Although no one can enumerate all the reasons why relationships fail, we have listed here the top reasons. So what are these relationship killers?

Poor or lack of communication. One way to connect with each other is for couples to have a strong and regular communication. Couples tend to drift apart due to poor or lack of communication. Many relation problems start with lack of communication. Assuming that you know what your partner or spouse is thinking is dangerous to your relationship. Misunderstandings and arguments are often the result of not communicating with your spouse or partner. If this is happening in your relationship then you should know that this is one of the reasons why relationships fail and you have to do something to improve the communication in your relationship.

Not supportive with each other’s goals, ambitions and careers. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the issues with careers and ambitions between couples. When two people in a relationship have different goals and ambitions and cannot compromise or support each other, the relationship may suffer in the end. It is given that two people naturally have different ambitions and careers to pursue but in a relationship, it is best to support each other’s interest or careers to avoid strain in the relationship. It is easier to make the relationship work with a partner or spouse who believes and supports their spouse’s or partner’s career. If 100% understanding, acceptance and support is not possible, at least a partner or spouse should be open to compromise and willing to find a work around to make both their careers and relationship work. Sacrifices and compromise is inevitable. Of course, both should know how to balance their careers with their love life. It is easier said than done but it is not impossible. There are couples who are both successful in their careers at the same time lead a happy and strong relationship.

Not getting along with your partner’s friends and family. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the conflict with people closest to your spouse or partner. Let’s face it, the world does not revolve around you and your partner alone. There are people around you like friends and families that both you and your partner cannot live without. Not getting along with people closest to your partner can put a strain in your relationship. A situation where you and your partner’s mother or bestfriend can’t see each other eye to eye or can’t stay in the same room can be really stressful in the relationship. Holiday dinners and family gatherings can be difficult if you are not in good terms with your spouse’s family and friends. If you want to create a long-lasting relationship with your partner, it is best to get along with people important to him or her.

Life’s issues and baggage. There are life’s baggage and issues when brought to a relationship can cause damage. A lingering ex can ignite jealousy, suspicion and distrust that can put a strain in your current relationship, so it is best to be clear with your ex that everything is already in the past and that you are serious with your current relationship. Comparing your current relationship with your previous relationships is also dangerous and damaging to your relationship. Children and issues from previous marriage can be challenging and can also affect your relationship so it important to know how to handle these things and make your current relationship work. One of the reasons why relationships fail is the failure to deal with your life’s issues and baggage.

Money issues. Financial issues is one of the reasons why relationships fail. If not addressed properly, money issues can kill your relationship. The stress brought by financial woes and struggles can eventually ruin a relationship. People or couples stressed with financial issues can become irritable, irrational, hostile and cold with their spouse or partner and these behaviors can slowly kill a relationship. It is best to be honest from the start about your financial status, be open to discuss each other’s spending habits, money sharing and expenses. With effective and open-minded communication, strategies and compromise about money, a financially challenged couple can work things out and can save their marriage.

Infidelity. Keeping a relationship between two people is hard enough but involving a third party or cheating a partner is a bomb that can instantly kill a relationship. Infidelity is the ultimate relationship destroyer and some relationships won’t be able to survive this. Betraying the trust of your partner is one of the top reasons why relationships fail. The feeling of being replaced or being betrayed is not easy to cope with and so the betrayed spouse or partner often walk out of the relationship. Although there are couples who were able to survive cheating and make the relationship work again, it is best to not to commit infidelity in the first place if you want a long-lasting relationship.

Disgusting behaviors and habits. Although it is true that loving someone includes accepting all his or her flaws, in reality there are habits that can become annoying over time and can push your partner to wake up one day and realize he or she wants to get out of the relationship. Even simple things like not putting back the toothpaste cap, not making the bed, not putting the soiled laundry in the laundry bin or leaving dirty shoes and socks around the house can be magnified if things are not going well in your relationship and these can trigger your partner to finally end the relationship. Nagging, being a war freak, fighting in public, humiliating your spouse or partner, name calling or cursing when arguing, holding on grudges, hitting your spouse or partner when you are angry, throwing things when arguing, too much or unreasonable jealousy, avoiding discussions about the issues in your relationship, lying or being dishonest with your spouse or partner are some of the bad behaviors that can damage a relationship and could lead to break-ups or divorce. Being in a relationship should teach couples to be better people and not become worse so it is better to change for the better to create a strong relationship than acquire unfavorable habits or behaviors that can eventually damage your relationship.

Things in your relationship becomes a routine. The fire and excitement in the relationship could die because you became too comfortable or complacent with each other that things become more of a routine than an act of love. You become more like siblings or friends than lovers. Being too comfortable with each other takes away the excitement and the romance in the relationship and it makes the relationship boring and a routine. When couples do the same things together over and over again, they stopped growing as an individual and as a partner. Break the routine and spice up your relationship. There are things and interests that you can do separately to grow as a person and there are things that you can do together to bond with each other. It is important to allow your spouse or partner to have his or her own space to do his or her own thing or enjoy the company of his or her friends but it is also important to have time alone with each other through regular dates or vacations to bond with each other and create new and exciting memories.

Lack of intimacy and sex. Life can become too busy and complicated that couples may end up too busy or stressed for intimacy or sex which is not a good thing in a relationship. Couples need to connect intimately emotionally and physically and the best thing to do it is through sex. Sex could dry up in a long-term relationship and couples tend to have less sex through the years. Couples should prevent this from happening. Lack of intimacy or sexual dissatisfaction is one of the reasons why relationships fail. When couples stop having sex, they tend to get disconnected and detached from each other and they become susceptible to infidelity. It is best for couples to maintain an active sex life to keep the connection and make the relationship more alive and exciting. Although it is important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner through regular sex, couples should know that it is not good to put pressure on your spouse or partner to engage in frequent sex. You don’t have to have sex everyday but there are studies saying that having regular sex once a week is ideal and enough to maintain that intimate connection between couples. There are many hindrances to accomplish this like stress at work, stress in everyday life, taking care of the children and the state where you are not in the mood for sex but like any other issue in your relationship, the frequency and timing of having sex should be discussed and planned. Intimate connection through sex is vital in every romantic relationship and when couples are not having enough connection through sex, they have to do something to fix this problem to save the relationship.

Are you having trouble dealing with a difficult or troubled marriage?

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Wives, is your husband thinking of leaving you? CLICK HERE >>> Your Marriage System Savior

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