Marriage is not always a bed of roses, conflicts between couples could bring worries and stress to the relationship. There are many issues and conflicts that may arise when two individuals are living under one roof as a couple. Parenting issues, money issues, boredom, jealousy, broken trust, lack of appreciation, poor communication and the list goes on. Relationships like marriage is complicated and conflicts are inevitable and to keep your marriage, you have to learn how to handle conflicts in your marriage.
Everyone wants a happy and long-lasting married life but as couples start living together, conflicts cannot be avoided. Here are some tips on how to handle conflicts in your marriage and avoid divorce.
Self assessment. As the saying goes “it takes two to Tango”, there are two people in a marriage so when conflicts occur, instead of pointing fingers, look at yourself and assess yourself. You can effectively handle conflicts in your marriage if you will look at yourself and your mistakes than blame your spouse. Self assessment is very important if you want to create a long-lasting marriage and prevent divorce. Reflect and think about your behavior and your mistakes and how you can improve yourself to resolve the conflicts in your marriage.
Take the initiative to discuss the conflicts with your spouse. Pride and ego are good in other situations but when it comes to resolving issues with your spouse, your ego should take a back seat. One effective way to handle conflicts in your marriage is to take the initiative to talk to your spouse about your marital problems. When bringing up the issue with your spouse it is important to be sensitive with his or her feelings. Instead of saying “You made me feel bad last night by leaving just like that” which may sound blaming your spouse, it is better to say “last night because I was left alone”. It is better to start the conversation with “I” than “You” to avoid giving your spouse the feeling that you are blaming him or her. You can communicate better with your spouse when you are sensitive with his or her feelings.
Listen to your spouse. You cannot handle conflicts in your marriage effectively if you will just talk and refuse to listen. If you need to compromise on something, your spouse’s views and opinions are also important. Give your spouse the opportunity to be heard and express his or her feelings. The decision should not be made by one partner only. When your partner is talking, listen and ask only questions related to the conflicts being discussed and do not bring up unrelated topics that happened in the past. Sometimes just the gesture of willingness to listen to your spouse makes the conflict easily resolved.
Stay calm. To handle conflicts in your marriage, do not let your emotions rule over you. Always try to control your emotions and stay calm. Do not yell or call your spouse names and bring up baggage from the past because nothing will be resolved with this attitude. Try not to lose your temper because you might say things you will regret later. If you feel that you are losing control of your emotions, breathe deeply or take a break for a few minutes but do not walk out for good. Go back after a few minutes to discuss the problem with your spouse.
Be positive. Always keep in mind that all relationships go though rough times and having conflicts in your marriage is nothing but normal. Every couple argue and fight from time to time but what matters is how you handle conflicts in your marriage. Always keep a positive attitude to avoid getting anxious or stressed out. A positive attitude is important if you want to effectively handle conflicts in your marriage. Being negative will only make the situation more difficult.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and couples should save their marriage at all costs in times of confusion and difficulties. Save your marriage now and avoid divorce, visit Save My Marriage Today