How to Rebuild Trust After an Affair


Trust is important in any relationship especially in a long-term relationship like marriage. A marriage cannot survive without trust. An affair can damage the trust in a marriage and once you betrayed the trust of your spouse, it can be really hard to repair a broken trust. If you want to save your marriage, it is important to know how to rebuild trust after an affair.

Infidelity or cheating, intended or not can damage a marriage and once discovered by your spouse, the feeling of betrayal and the broken trust can be very hard to deal with even after the affair. Rebuilding the trust and love of your spouse is important if you do not want your marriage to end. So how to rebuild trust after an affair?

Be patient. You can betray the trust of your spouse in a blink of an eye but it takes time to rebuild a broken trust. You have to understand that you have to wait to be forgiven and trusted again. The moment you decided to have an affair, you also decided to put your credibility on the line. Now that the affair was discovered and over, you have to prove over and over again that you can be trusted again and that you will never cheat on your spouse again. It takes time and effort to rebuild a damaged credibility. Earning the trust of your spouse will not happen as quickly as you want to. You need to wait and you need to work on it. It takes time to rebuild trust after an affair so be patient.

Be positive. It is so easy to give up and get discouraged when your spouse is ignoring you and hating you. But always keep in mind that trust can be rebuild after an affair and it is possible to create a better relationship with your spouse after an affair. Always be positive and keep working on earning the trust of your spouse again. As they say, love is lovelier the second time around.

Be consistent and keep your promises. Consistency is important if you want to earn the trust of your spouse again. If you promised to be home by dinner or promised to call your spouse, then fulfill those promises. You have to be consistent and show that you are reliable. Show that you are sincere, serious and working hard to earn the trust of your spouse. No excuses, no ifs and buts, just consistently keep your promises no matter what.

Allow your spouse to vent out and express his or her feelings. Do not expect your spouse to bottled it all up. It is normal to vent out, ask questions and express anger when your spouse cheated on you so let your spouse vent out. Comfort and understand your spouse’s feelings to show that you are truly sorry and willing to do everything in order to rebuild trust after an affair.

Accept that things won’t be easy. Unfaithfulness is a huge sin in a marriage and it is not easy to overcome it especially to the one cheated on. Be prepared that your spouse might give you cold treatments or give you a hard time to redeem yourself. It takes hard work to compensate for the bad deeds (that is cheating your spouse) you have done. To rebuild trust after an affair, you have to stay calm and focused on your goal. Do not be discouraged but be prepared, persevere and continue to pursue your spouse to forgive and trust you again.

Show your spouse how much you love and value him or her. Become more affectionate, appreciative and attentive towards your spouse. Show your spouse that he or she is the one you want in your life and that the affair was a mistake. Show that you regret the pain you have caused your spouse and that you want to keep your marriage no matter what it takes.

An affair doesn’t have to end up in divorce. Things can be worked on to make the marriage better. You can rebuild trust after an affair and you can build a happier and healthier marriage.

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