It is normal for couples to run into few bumps in their relationship. If you know how to deal with common marital issues, you’ll have a better chance of keeping a long-lasting marriage. There is no perfect marriage. Even the best of marriages encounter problems in their relationship. Knowing how to work through the common marital issues in your relationship to keep the relationship going is very important in every marriage.
So what are the common marital issues that couples have to deal with?
Poor communication. The lack of communication is one of the common marital issues couples usually experience. In this modern age, many things prevent couples from having actual communication. You cannot have a good communication with your spouse while watching TV or engrossed on your gadgets. Put down your cell phone at home and let the voicemail pick up your calls. Let your spouse speak and voice out his or her concerns. When voicing out your concerns, avoid starting the phrase with “You” because it sounds blaming your spouse. Instead start the conversation with “I” words. Be respectful of your spouse even in the face of arguments. Know when to stop talking and start listening. Talk to your spouse on a regular basis to strengthen your connection with each other. It could be over coffee every morning or after putting the kids to bed at night. Have a regular date nights to spend more time talking and communicating with each other.
Sexual dissatisfaction. The lack of sex or sexual dissatisfaction is one of the common marital issues that couples have to deal with. Even couples who love each other so much can have sex issues. The lack of sexual awareness could aggravate the problem. Couples should not give up on sex because this is one of the great ways to connect with each other emotionally and physically. Discuss how to improve your sex life. Make plans and include sex in your calendar. Discover each other’s sexual fantasies or what turns you and your partner on and work on how to satisfy each other. If you can’t resolve your sexual problems on your own, seek help from sexual therapist to resolve your issues regarding sex.
Money problems. Another common marital issue is money matters. Financial problems could ruin a marriage and couples should know how to handle money problems to save their relationship. It is important to be honest with each other about your financial situation so that you both know what you are dealing with. Do not hide and always be transparent about your debts, income, savings and investments. If one is a spender and another is a saver, acknowledge each other’s money habits, set some rules and learn from each other. Talk and decide who is responsible for your daily budget and monthly bills. Set aside a budget for each other’s personal needs. Talk about how to save for long-term and how to deal financially with family emergencies including your parents. Above all, when the family is facing a financial crisis, do not blame each other but work as a team and support each other to survive the crisis without jeopardizing your marriage.
Issues about housework. One of the common marital issues that couples have to deal with is how to keep the house in order. When both spouses are working, household chores can be an issue. It may sound childish but heated arguments may start from a misplaced toothpaste cap or dirty dishes. It is important for couples to fairly divide household chores and agree about your respective household responsibilities. It is also important to be considerate and flexible once in a while as there might be occasions when one spouse must spend more time at work due to some issues at work.
Lack of time for each other. When you were single, your career and yourself were on top of your priorities but once you get married, your priorities should change. Couples should make their marriage their priority. Although you both have careers to keep or pursue, your marriage should not be the last on your list. Not making your marriage a priority could lead to marital problems. Lack of time for each other is one of the common marital issues that can ruin a marriage. Dating should not stop after your “I do.” Make time for regular date nights. Include in your schedule time for each other. Let your spouse feel and know that he or she is important.
Handling arguments and conflicts. It is normal for couples to argue and not see each other eye-to-eye but couples should learn to handle conflicts in a healthy way. Always remember that you are arguing with someone you love and not your enemy. You can voice out your concerns without being spiteful or without hurting your spouse. Listen and let your spouse speak and express his or her concerns. Acknowledge your mistakes and apologize. Avoid shouting, name calling, bad words and cursing. Respect each other and find solutions to your conflicts. Find a middle ground and compromise to resolve certain issues. Keeping a marriage includes compromise and sacrifices.
Too much jealousy. Is jealousy causing issues and tension in your marriage? Too much jealousy is one of the common marital issues that can damage a marriage. Trust is important in a long-term relationship like marriage. If too much jealousy is hurting your marriage, you have to learn to control your jealousy and trust your spouse more. Are there unresolved issues preventing you to trust your spouse? Work on those issues with your spouse to build trust with each other. If your spouse is a jealous type, do not give him or her reasons to get jealous. Be consistent and never make promises you cannot keep. Call when you say you will call and inform your spouse when you will be home late.