You and your spouse started as a couple full of love and hope who want to spend the rest of your lives together but now the relationship is not as smooth sailing as before and you are struggling to make the marriage work.
If your marriage is getting rocky, the following tips can be very helpful to survive a failing marriage.
Seek professional help as early as possible. When your marriage is getting stressful, you and your spouse are having constant fights and you both find it hard to connect with each other, it is best to seek professional help before you both get detached from each other. Marriage counselling can help you strengthen your connection but if you are already detached, it can be very hard to re-establish the connection. It is easier to survive a failing marriage when you seek help before the marriage becomes hopeless.
Make a list of the issues in your marriage. To survive a failing marriage it is important to make a list of all the issues in your marriage. Make a list of the things you have disagreements that often lead to arguments or fights, your spouse’s behavior and your reactions to these issues. Seeing your marital issues and how you and your spouse reacted to them on a list can help you see your relationship on a bigger picture. With the list, you can work on agreeable solutions to your marital issues and you can also see if there is a need to upgrade each other’s reaction and behavior towards those issues. Being “right” is not important if you want to survive a failing marriage. What is important is that you are mature enough to accept accountability and compromise to solve your marital issues.
Figure out how you could change for the better. Your spouse may get defensive if you keep asking him or her to change the behaviors that you hate. To survive a failing marriage, it is better to shift your focus on yourself. Figure out what you could do to change for the better and your positive transformation can eventually convey positive vibes to your spouse encouraging him or her to change for the better too.
Take negativity away from your marriage. Harboring negative feelings for your spouse is not helpful if you want to survive a failing marriage. Negative feelings and behavior like anger, blaming, accusations, criticisms, name calling, etc. are not helpful but they make the relationship more stressful. If you need to express your concerns, do it in a manner that it will not provoke your spouse to start an argument with you. One good rule about this is by using the word “I” instead of “You” to avoid sounding like you’re blaming or accusing your spouse. Instead of saying “You disappointed me…” try saying “I am disappointed…” There is a chance to resolve your issues more peacefully if you will try to be constructive and less harsh in airing your concerns. Stay on the calm and positive side to get a more positive reaction from your spouse.
Embrace positivity in your relationship. A person who is positive in his or her outlook and behavior invites positive reaction. Instead of dwelling on the negative things you dislike about your spouse, why not dwell on the positive things that you like about your spouse? Be more positive, appreciative, thoughtful and caring to your spouse. Kiss more, hug more, make love more and be more romantic with your spouse. Give more and you’ll get more in return.
Listen to your spouse’s concerns. Sometimes when people are getting too familiar with each other, they assume that they can read each other’s mind that they forgot to listen to their concerns and just assume what they’re thinking. Everybody wants to be heard and your spouse wants you to listen. Listen to your spouse’s concern and work on solutions agreeable to both of you. If you can’t arrive to mutually agreeable solutions, agree to disagree or find a middle ground and compromise. Maybe all it takes to survive a failing marriage is to listen and give your spouse a chance to air his or her concerns.
Stay faithful or practice fidelity. Cheating or infidelity can ruin a marriage. If you are having an affair, get help and get out from that situation if you really want to survive a failing marriage. Rebuilding trust in your marriage after an affair is not easy and you may need professional help. Although most marriages end up in divorce after an affair, there’s a handful of couples who survived and saved their marriage through marriage counselling. It is better to exhaust all possible solutions before giving up on your marriage. As long as there is commitment and willingness to start anew, nothing is impossible.
Keeping a marriage needs a lot of work and couples should continue working on their relationship everyday to make it last. Improve your marriage and stop divorce visit Save Your Marriage Today